The emotional roller coaster of facing foreclosure and keeping your cool while navigating the loan modification process.
One in every 7 homeowners is facing foreclosures the numbers of people in crisis are at epic proportions in 2009 and growing, unfortunately most of the reports only deal with the implications on the lenders and the help is slowly trickling in. The lenders were not prepared to deal with the kind of numbers of loan modification requests coming in and have had to ramp up and train staff just to try to catch up. A handful are doing a good job and the others unfortunately are still navigating through the crisis at a snails pace and cannot keep up with the sometimes weekly changes in systems and guidelines. For the employees at the lender it is a different kind of stress and issues of workload that sometimes gives you a less than pleasant person to deal with on the other end of the line. You must put this all into perspective for you to avoid frustration and add to your own stress with giving other peoples attitudes too much importance. It is important to get prepared and dig deep inside to find patience if one is to venture into trying to save your home and do it yourself as recommended by the government, and the lenders. The collapsing housing market offers tremendous stress and uncertainty for many and many psychologists warn foreclosures take a deep emotional toll on people and families as well. If you are going through this you will know what they are talking about.
Your home carries a sentimental attachment that brings a complex sense of loss and emotional roller coaster for many people when faced with the thought of foreclosure. People don’t just live in a house they consider it a home filled with memories, friends, community and familiarity. When faced with losing your home all of these feelings and emotions get triggered and surface, and you may say or do things you will later regret. Thats why it is important to prepare yourself mentally to be able to navigate the foreclosure and loan modification process without losing your cool.
Foreclosure strikes a deep chord in our financial security and can bring up many wounds and issues of deep stress, isolation, rejection and abandonment for families. Losing a home and being forced to move means there has been a breach in financial security and that’s very scary. It is important to deal with the emotional side of things when faced with the huge stress of working on saving your home so that you can come out of this experience stronger and with your health in tact.
1. You Must Acknowledge your feelings and keep your stress level under control.
Make sure you don’t suppress your emotions, so that a negative pileup or blowup does not occur or affect your health. Talk to a good friend or use another form of creative outlet such as journaling or drawing to express your feelings.
2. Avoid connecting negative thoughts to your feelings.
Focus on positive productive thinking instead of regrets. Don’t think “I am a bad person for letting this happen,” instead its best to think, “this is a bad experience, but I am going to focus and be determined to work hard to remedy the situation.”
We need to have a good vision and plan of your desired outcome so that you can navigate the obstacles and frustrations that come with working on a loan modification so you can be successful. Henry Ford said “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal”. The art of achieving small daily goals begins with setting them and coming up with a plan and this is essential to building your confidence and having a positive outlook towards your future.
You must expose yourself to positive thoughts many times throughout every day. The mind is very strong and we rarely realize its full potential. Positive thoughts create energy while negative thoughts destroy energy. Read inspirational stories. Only listen to positive news and refuse to allow the negative news into your thinking, listen instead to the positive. Utilize affirmations. Make a list of everything that you are thankful for and read it regularly. We all have a choice of how we focus our energy focus it on what you do want not on what you do not want to occur. Energy flows where attention goes.
3. Live in the NOW.
While we need to learn from the past and plan for the future. It is a waste of time and energy to have anxiety over things we ultimately no longer have control over. We can use the past as a learning tool to avoid repeating the same mistakes, but there is absolutely no value in second guessing our past decisions or blaming ourselves. Do not dwell on the past. In addition, neither is spending too much time worrying about the future. You can be more productive with your time in the present as it is the only thing we can control. Take it one day at a time facing each new situation as it comes and applying the lessons you have learned to today’s situations. It is important for you to set your goals and work daily and without getting frustrated in that direction to get them accomplished. If you have the confidence that you are doing the best you can and moving forward you can have a positive attitude towards everything you do, it will and does make a difference in every situation.
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